Tuesday, January 17, 2012


It's nice to not feel like you aren't all alone.... so for those of you that hate
when the sun goes down and it's time to close your eyes I hate it too.
For some odd reason I get really emotional at night and start thinking about
everything I messed up on that day. Whether it was I said something mean about
someone or I snapped at my most wonderful hubby for no apparent reason, it
really comes down on me at night. 
I often wish I were better. Nicer. Happier. Someone that makes me people
feel good about themselves. I want to help lift people up not bring them down.
How do you change the worst things about yourself? How do you prepare yourself
to teach a little one how to be wonderful. I hope more than anything that I can
teach my kids not to make the same mistakes I did and still do.
I want to teach my kids how to make the world a brighter place and teach 
them how to smile, a lot!
It's a scary thing though when you are still learning yourself.
No I'm not prego but obviously I think about that.
I wonder if I will be a good mama, a loving mama.
My biggest goal when it comes to my future kiddos is to make sure they
know that I love them and that I love their daddy.
I hope they look back on their life and one day say...wow my mama loves me.
and she is absolutely crazy about my dad.
I saw this saying and it made me smile.
If I can wake up everyday with that mind set I bet each day I will
be able to find something wonderful and something that will make me happy.
It's hard to remember to be positive though. It's hard to remember the things you are
trying to make better about yourself. Sometimes I get into the groove and forget
to make someone feel good. I forget to smile and I get mad at my husband.
But I guess that's what life is right? It's about falling down and picking yourself
back up. Life is full of choices, choices that will define who you are.
Will I make the right ones? I sure hope so.

But at least this statement is true.
If I go to sleep at night and realize there is something I want to change,
I can. I can change and be anything I want.
I am the only one that can choose my fate.
I control my happiness.
I can choose to be a downer or I can choose to be happy.
Today I am choosing to be happy, more loving and more risky.
yep risky! I will make my life story a good one.
Will you?


  1. Wow we are twins. But you will be a good mama. You were a great "mama" to us:) We all do or say things we don't think about until those wee hours in the night when we lay there thinking about everything we've done that day (right or wrong). Our loved ones always forgive us though. What is life if nothing more than to constantly strive to be better?! I love you mama bear. You are amazing.

  2. I love you Bren. I feel the same way so many times. I have so many rude awakenings that say "you need to be better". Yep, thats life. Thanks for reminding me that I'm not alone in that. You are amazing you know that? Love you

  3. I love this! I feel the same way a lot of the times but you're right. I can change things to be better :)

  4. For a while there you were my mom :) "Hey call me if i'm not home by midnight" or telling the boys that I dated that you would kill them if they hurt me haha. It worked out great! :)