INSPIRING WOMEN {Corinne}

This months inspiring woman is Corinne! She is like a breath of fresh air... What you see is what you get and she will love you for who you are! She is pretty much the best. Her story is full of struggles, triumph, love, and transparency. I'm so glad I have someone like her in my life. I haven't known her very long yet I love her! There are few people in your life that you just love from the very beginning, she's one! 

Here is her story...

My Fault, my failure, is not in the passions I have, but in my lack of control of them.

-Jack Kerouac

How to begin with a story is always the most difficult part for me.

So, with this being said, lets start with the basics.

My name is Corinne Mosdell, I am 34 years old and reside in Cedar City, Utah.

I’m a wife to the kindest, most patient and endearing man, Cade. I am a Mother to one beautiful little 5 year old girl, named Lily, and also to a sweet tiny pup named Bear. I currently own an online shop for Women and children, named C. Lily Clothing. To add to the job and the wonderful work of being a Mother, I am also a licensed Bail Bond Agent in Iron County.

Now, you are probably thinking that is the absolute strangest mix of jobs I have ever heard of in my life. I tend to think that myself quite often too. This wasn’t exactly how I had planned my life to be when I was younger, but who’s life really turns out as they planned?

As a child I was, from the day I was born, a friendly and outgoing little girl. Whom talked her way through life fiercely. A salesman at a young age, I could hold a conversation with anyone in a room, no matter the age. I never took “No” for an answer and if I did, my feelings were rarely hurt. This talent was an incredible gift I was given, yet not everything in life was easy for me. With a sense of finding greater always, my mind was always insatiable. Inside I always felt I needed and wanted more, because of this desire and craving, I was rarely happy. When I graduated college I remember my Mother and Father telling me there were very few moments of sheer excitement that they had ever seen throughout my life, and that was one. With this gift and curse, My younger adolescent years were difficult, to say the least.

In 2000 I gave a baby up for adoption. I remember everyone telling me “What an un-selfish thing to do Corinne.” But deep down I never felt that was the reason for my doing it, it was actually for selfish reasons. I can see that as an adult now and I can accept it, yet without my family’s support I don’t know if that was something I would have done the right way. I really wanted to be a kid still, yet play adult roles. I wanted the successful job, yet healthy relationships without working toward them. The realistic side to this is, life doesn’t work that way. I chose the jobs, the money, the fun. But, they never lasted long. I had successful career paths at a young age in Telecommunications and Sales, yet my insatiable self never thought it was enough. I continued to make unhealthy choices until it led me down a road I never thought I would go down...Addiction. Now we have heard a million addiction stories, and they all end the same. Mine began differently and sadly ended differently then many others.

In 2004 I was in a car accident in the Virgin River Gorge. Ruptured Spleen, broken ribs, and lacerations in my eyes and face. Lucky to be alive, I was sent home from intensive care with multiple medications. After shortly returning to work, I stopped my medication and became severely ill. I was not sure the reasons for this and assumed I was just sick. Days went on and I was not feeling any better. Returning to my caring physicians office, I came to find out I was dependent on all the many medications I had been taking for the weeks prior. I was sent home with more pills and directions to continue taking them until I was fully recovered. It was then my addiction cycle had begun.

My family at this point had became seemingly concerned. My Father helped me get accepted to a clinic to receive help getting off the medications. But at that point it was far deeper then the pills. The lies had begun, I was undependable, constantly late, and taking more and more pain pills weekly. I started the clinic and began to come off the pills, but my mental state was still the same. This went on and on for 3 years with multiple relapses and continued drug use. The pain pills became not enough. I had moved on. I moved to Salt Lake with a better job offer and thought the change in location would help me. It didn’t. I found the same problem there and even worse it became.

Finally in 2008 I moved back to St. George with a hope to get better. I started the clinic again, yet still without counseling or real treatment. At this point I had lost or damaged all the relationships I had ever had. I was alone and broken and barely hanging on. In June of 2008 I fell asleep at the wheel and wrecked my car. I was arrested for the drugs in my vehicle and put in jail. I was offered Drug Court as a means to change my life story and make something of myself. This meant no felonies and a fresh start. I agreed very unwillingly, and began the program. Only a few weeks in I relapsed and returned to jail, with one more chance to actually work a program. I was sent to an inpatient facility in Cedar City, Utah. I fought the program, I was bitter, I was detached, and at that point didn’t care anymore. But someone did care. My family cared. The judge cared. My probation officer cared. That is all I really needed, were cheerleaders and love. Even if it was tough love. So, 3 months in, I gave in, I let go, and I started to work. After a long road, and being stubborn the majority of the time, I graduated in 2010.

Now I have left bits and pieces out as my whole story wouldn’t necessarily be that intriguing or interesting. But I wanted you each to understand the process as a whole. It was not easy. I fell down over and over and messed up over and over. But I got back up. I cried. I fought my way through it.

I returned back to college in 2009 to receive my Bachelor Degree. It took me longer then expected, and I had to fix many of the mistakes I had made previously. But I graduated. I graduated with a degree and a wonderful family I could call my own. That in itself was the greatest accomplishment after getting sober.

With a 4 year old at home and working part time doing Bail Bonds again, as I had in previous years, I began to feel that yearning again that I needed more. Something greater and bigger. Up until then I had a job, school, and a daughter to raise. But having idle time was never my friend. So after school ended I had felt empty. I needed something more and the depression returned. I had always loved fashion. It was something that my Mother had a background in and I longed to be involved in it my entire life. Dressing a little girl was so much fun, but I needed more.

Quickly, back to my brief talk about relationships, I never was so great at them. I struggled. I was selfish. Meaningful relationships were far and few and until my later 20's I had none. I was blessed enough to find some incredible humans while living in Cedar City, and they started to cheer me on. To help me find something to fill the void. A business of my own. Now I had always had that background in Sales, so in the few previous years I had dabbled in quite a few Direct Selling businesses. They never were of much interest, but the people I met along the way became my friends and loyal clients. Little did I know they would follow me along this new venture. I was building healthy relationships at this point, I just didn’t realize it. I didn’t know what that meant to even have those kind of relationships.

January 2015 I started the venture. An online Woman’s and Children’s Clothing Store. With the help of my Mother, Father, Daughter, and Husband, and my dear friends Kristina Maine, Holly Pearcy, Janice McGuire, Kassandra Appling, and Mariah Unruh, I fumbled my way through getting the business started. With very little money and no resources, each of my friends stepped in. Each of them contributing their talents to this venture. None of them received any payment or anything in return, only the love I could offer back. I had never had this amount of love and support before, except from my family. I was shocked. I still am. In March 2015 the shop opened and it was a success. We are not a huge company, but the loyal customers and friends I have gained is priceless. There isn’t enough money in the whole world that is that important. It took me 32 years to learn that. Today We have been open one year and I couldn’t even have fathomed this would be something I could do and succeed at!

As the company has grown over the last year I have stumbled and learned and grown, and most of all found my purpose. To make meaningful relationships. About 4 months ago I started a post on social media called “Tonight’s Real Post.” It was a post to ultimately help me remember who I was, and to help anyone else that feels the pressures of social media validation and life’s pressures daily. We are all human. We make mistakes. We grow. We stumble. Ultimately we learn. But over the previous few months I had seen on social media a pressure to have this “picture perfect” life. Photos that were staged to make others think that was their real life. Beautiful outfits and smiling babies, and immaculate homes adorned with items from other online retailers. I felt lost again. A hopeless feeling of pressure. To be and act and look like this perfect shop owner, mother, and wife. Then it hit me. My purpose. To stand out and make a difference and be “Real.” I had finally found my niche. In the end I get to benefit the most by outing myself and being transparent. Because Transparency is the first step to truly loving yourself. Up until then I hadn’t loved myself. The accountability I needed to be better and work harder, was fading, and I had to find a way to recreate it myself. A simple post throughout the week solved all those pressures for me. A simple post with a heart full of love and desire to touch others lives. No motives involved, no benefits secretly I was receiving, just the sense of relief and peace I felt when I started. There was my purpose, my way to make meaningful relationships, and I had finally found it.

My story isn’t meant to make you applaud me. Or praise the path I took. It’s meant to help you see that we are all human. We are all here trying to find our way and make it. Each of our stories are different. Not one is better or worse. But if we settle, if we just accept life as it is in a state we are unhappy about, we will never grow. We will never find our way and true purpose.

Today I am grateful to have found mine. Tomorrow may be trying, I may fall, I may stumble, but I will get back up and try again. Today I am sober. I am happy to have a beautiful chance at life. A daughter who teaches me daily to be kind, more sensitive, forgiving, and to love unconditionally with my whole heart. Without her I can’t imagine I would be here today telling you this story. My life as I had planned, well it is so far from that, because it is even greater than I could have imagined. We can look in life and find a lot of crap. A lot of things to complain and be miserable about, but if we set those aside, we will find that there is so much more good than there is bad.

Each day we can be better than we were the day before. If only we could teach ourselves to only compare ourselves with ourselves and not others? I wonder who we would become?

-Corinne

You can check Corinne's shop out HERE.