vulnerable.

It's nice to not feel like you aren't all alone.... so for those of you that hate

when the sun goes down and it's time to close your eyes I hate it too.

For some odd reason I get really emotional at night and start thinking about

everything I messed up on that day. Whether it was I said something mean about

someone or I snapped at my most wonderful hubby for no apparent reason, it

really comes down on me at night. 

I often wish I were better. Nicer. Happier. Someone that makes me people

feel good about themselves. I want to help lift people up not bring them down.

How do you change the worst things about yourself? How do you prepare yourself

to teach a little one how to be wonderful. I hope more than anything that I can

teach my kids not to make the same mistakes I did and still do.

I want to teach my kids how to make the world a brighter place and teach 

them how to smile, a lot!

It's a scary thing though when you are still learning yourself.

No I'm not prego but obviously I think about that.

I wonder if I will be a good mama, a loving mama.

My biggest goal when it comes to my future kiddos is to make sure they

know that I love them and that I love their daddy.

I hope they look back on their life and one day say...wow my mama loves me.

and she is absolutely crazy about my dad.

 

I saw this saying and it made me smile.

If I can wake up everyday with that mind set I bet each day I will

be able to find something wonderful and something that will make me happy.

It's hard to remember to be positive though. It's hard to remember the things you are

trying to make better about yourself. Sometimes I get into the groove and forget

to make someone feel good. I forget to smile and I get mad at my husband.

But I guess that's what life is right? It's about falling down and picking yourself

back up. Life is full of choices, choices that will define who you are.

Will I make the right ones? I sure hope so.

 

But at least this statement is true.

If I go to sleep at night and realize there is something I want to change,

I can. I can change and be anything I want.

I am the only one that can choose my fate.

I control my happiness.

I can choose to be a downer or I can choose to be happy.

Today I am choosing to be happy, more loving and more risky.

yep risky! I will make my life story a good one.

Will you?

-bb