This months inspiring woman is Corinne! She is like a breath of fresh air... What you see is what you get and she will love you for who you are! She is pretty much the best. Her story is full of struggles, triumph, love, and transparency. I'm so glad I have someone like her in my life. I haven't known her very long yet I love her! There are few people in your life that you just love from the very beginning, she's one!
Here
is her story...
My
Fault, my failure, is not in the passions I have, but in my lack of
control of them.
-Jack
Kerouac
How
to begin with a story is always the most difficult part for me.
So,
with this being said, lets start with the basics.
My
name is Corinne Mosdell, I am 34 years old and reside in Cedar City,
Utah.
I’m
a wife to the kindest, most patient and endearing man, Cade. I am a
Mother to one beautiful little 5 year old girl, named Lily, and also
to a sweet tiny pup named Bear. I currently own an online shop for
Women and children, named C. Lily Clothing. To add to the job and the
wonderful work of being a Mother, I am also a licensed Bail Bond
Agent in Iron County.
Now,
you are probably thinking that is the absolute strangest mix of jobs
I have ever heard of in my life. I tend to think that myself quite
often too. This wasn’t exactly how I had planned my life to be when
I was younger, but who’s life really turns out as they planned?
As
a child I was, from the day I was born, a friendly and outgoing
little girl. Whom talked her way through life fiercely. A salesman at
a young age, I could hold a conversation with anyone in a room, no
matter the age. I never took “No” for an answer and if I did, my
feelings were rarely hurt. This talent was an incredible gift I was
given, yet not everything in life was easy for me. With a sense of
finding greater always, my mind was always insatiable. Inside I
always felt I needed and wanted more, because of this desire and
craving, I was rarely happy. When I graduated college I remember my
Mother and Father telling me there were very few moments of sheer
excitement that they had ever seen throughout my life, and that was
one. With this gift and curse, My younger adolescent years were
difficult, to say the least.
In
2000 I gave a baby up for adoption. I remember everyone telling me
“What an un-selfish thing to do Corinne.” But deep down I never
felt that was the reason for my doing it, it was actually for selfish
reasons. I can see that as an adult now and I can accept it, yet
without my family’s support I don’t know if that was something I
would have done the right way. I really wanted to be a kid still, yet
play adult roles. I wanted the successful job, yet healthy
relationships without working toward them. The realistic side to this
is, life doesn’t work that way. I chose the jobs, the money, the
fun. But, they never lasted long. I had successful career paths at a
young age in Telecommunications and Sales, yet my insatiable self
never thought it was enough. I continued to make unhealthy choices
until it led me down a road I never thought I would go
down...Addiction. Now we have heard a million addiction stories, and
they all end the same. Mine began differently and sadly ended
differently then many others.
In
2004 I was in a car accident in the Virgin River Gorge. Ruptured
Spleen, broken ribs, and lacerations in my eyes and face. Lucky to be
alive, I was sent home from intensive care with multiple medications.
After shortly returning to work, I stopped my medication and became
severely ill. I was not sure the reasons for this and assumed I was
just sick. Days went on and I was not feeling any better. Returning
to my caring physicians office, I came to find out I was dependent on
all the many medications I had been taking for the weeks prior. I was
sent home with more pills and directions to continue taking them
until I was fully recovered. It was then my addiction cycle had
begun.
My
family at this point had became seemingly concerned. My Father helped
me get accepted to a clinic to receive help getting off the
medications. But at that point it was far deeper then the pills. The
lies had begun, I was undependable, constantly late, and taking more
and more pain pills weekly. I started the clinic and began to come
off the pills, but my mental state was still the same. This went on
and on for 3 years with multiple relapses and continued drug use. The
pain pills became not enough. I had moved on. I moved to Salt Lake
with a better job offer and thought the change in location would help
me. It didn’t. I found the same problem there and even worse it
became.
Finally
in 2008 I moved back to St. George with a hope to get better. I
started the clinic again, yet still without counseling or real
treatment. At this point I had lost or damaged all the relationships
I had ever had. I was alone and broken and barely hanging on. In June
of 2008 I fell asleep at the wheel and wrecked my car. I was arrested
for the drugs in my vehicle and put in jail. I was offered Drug Court
as a means to change my life story and make something of myself. This
meant no felonies and a fresh start. I agreed very unwillingly, and
began the program. Only a few weeks in I relapsed and returned to
jail, with one more chance to actually work a program. I was sent to
an inpatient facility in Cedar City, Utah. I fought the program, I
was bitter, I was detached, and at that point didn’t care anymore.
But someone did care. My family cared. The judge cared. My probation
officer cared. That is all I really needed, were cheerleaders and
love. Even if it was tough love. So, 3 months in, I gave in, I let
go, and I started to work. After a long road, and being stubborn the
majority of the time, I graduated in 2010.
Now
I have left bits and pieces out as my whole story wouldn’t
necessarily be that intriguing or interesting. But I wanted you each
to understand the process as a whole. It was not easy. I fell down
over and over and messed up over and over. But I got back up. I
cried. I fought my way through it.
I
returned back to college in 2009 to receive my Bachelor Degree. It
took me longer then expected, and I had to fix many of the mistakes I
had made previously. But I graduated. I graduated with a degree and a
wonderful family I could call my own. That in itself was the greatest
accomplishment after getting sober.
With
a 4 year old at home and working part time doing Bail Bonds again, as
I had in previous years, I began to feel that yearning again that I
needed more. Something greater and bigger. Up until then I had a job,
school, and a daughter to raise. But having idle time was never my
friend. So after school ended I had felt empty. I needed something
more and the depression returned. I had always loved fashion. It was
something that my Mother had a background in and I longed to be
involved in it my entire life. Dressing a little girl was so much
fun, but I needed more.
Quickly,
back to my brief talk about relationships, I never was so great at
them. I struggled. I was selfish. Meaningful relationships were far
and few and until my later 20's I had none. I was blessed enough to
find some incredible humans while living in Cedar City, and they
started to cheer me on. To help me find something to fill the void. A
business of my own. Now I had always had that background in Sales, so
in the few previous years I had dabbled in quite a few Direct Selling
businesses. They never were of much interest, but the people I met
along the way became my friends and loyal clients. Little did I know
they would follow me along this new venture. I was building healthy
relationships at this point, I just didn’t realize it. I didn’t
know what that meant to even have those kind of relationships.
January
2015 I started the venture. An online Woman’s and Children’s
Clothing Store. With the help of my Mother, Father, Daughter, and
Husband, and my dear friends Kristina Maine, Holly Pearcy, Janice
McGuire, Kassandra Appling, and Mariah Unruh, I fumbled my way
through getting the business started. With very little money and no
resources, each of my friends stepped in. Each of them contributing
their talents to this venture. None of them received any payment or
anything in return, only the love I could offer back. I had never had
this amount of love and support before, except from my family. I was
shocked. I still am. In March 2015 the shop opened and it was a
success. We are not a huge company, but the loyal customers and
friends I have gained is priceless. There isn’t enough money in the
whole world that is that important. It took me 32 years to learn
that. Today We have been open one year and I couldn’t even have
fathomed this would be something I could do and succeed at!
As
the company has grown over the last year I have stumbled and learned
and grown, and most of all found my purpose. To make meaningful
relationships. About 4 months ago I started a post on social media
called “Tonight’s Real Post.” It was a post to ultimately help
me remember who I was, and to help anyone else that feels the
pressures of social media validation and life’s pressures daily. We
are all human. We make mistakes. We grow. We stumble. Ultimately we
learn. But over the previous few months I had seen on social media a
pressure to have this “picture perfect” life. Photos that were
staged to make others think that was their real life. Beautiful
outfits and smiling babies, and immaculate homes adorned with items
from other online retailers. I felt lost again. A hopeless feeling of
pressure. To be and act and look like this perfect shop owner,
mother, and wife. Then it hit me. My purpose. To stand out and make a
difference and be “Real.” I had finally found my niche. In the
end I get to benefit the most by outing myself and being transparent.
Because Transparency is the first step to truly loving yourself. Up
until then I hadn’t loved myself. The accountability I needed to be
better and work harder, was fading, and I had to find a way to
recreate it myself. A simple post throughout the week solved all
those pressures for me. A simple post with a heart full of love and
desire to touch others lives. No motives involved, no benefits
secretly I was receiving, just the sense of relief and peace I felt
when I started. There was my purpose, my way to make meaningful
relationships, and I had finally found it.
My
story isn’t meant to make you applaud me. Or praise the path I
took. It’s meant to help you see that we are all human. We are all
here trying to find our way and make it. Each of our stories are
different. Not one is better or worse. But if we settle, if we just
accept life as it is in a state we are unhappy about, we will never
grow. We will never find our way and true purpose.
Today
I am grateful to have found mine. Tomorrow may be trying, I may fall,
I may stumble, but I will get back up and try again. Today I am
sober. I am happy to have a beautiful chance at life. A daughter who
teaches me daily to be kind, more sensitive, forgiving, and to love
unconditionally with my whole heart. Without her I can’t imagine I
would be here today telling you this story. My life as I had planned,
well it is so far from that, because it is even greater than I could
have imagined. We can look in life and find a lot of crap. A lot of
things to complain and be miserable about, but if we set those aside,
we will find that there is so much more good than there is bad.
Each
day we can be better than we were the day before. If only we could
teach ourselves to only compare ourselves with ourselves and not
others? I wonder who we would become?
