This months Inspiring Woman is the amazing Kylee Low. I have never really gotten to know Kylee but we went to school together. I always thought she was so sweet and when I heard what had happend to her little boy my heart ached for her. I cannot not imgine going through something like that.
She has gone through her trial with such grace and looks at it with such a wonderful attitude. Her story is so amazing and I especially love that she decided to adopt. I wouldn't have my two cute nephews without adoption so this one hits close to home for me.
Here is her story…
On June 6, 2012 at 39 weeks and 4 days pregnant my Husband and I headed to the Hospital to meet our miracle baby Boy. Within moments of arriving and being hooked up to monitors, our sweet boy's heart rate began to dip with each contraction. The medical team was having a difficult time finding his little beats. They broke my water to monitor him closely, and placed a monitor on his head. One of the last things I remember was glancing at the monitor that was meant for his little heart and seeing the numbers dip... 80,70,60 as they rushed me into the OR for an Emergency C-section. I awoke groggy and unsure of the events that had taken place but knew in my gut things weren't how we had hoped they would be. No crying baby, no smiling pictures, no tears of joy. Absolute heartbreak was all I felt as the Doctor had told me that our little boy, whom we named Clutch, returned to our Heavenly Father. He had a tight knot in his umbilical cord that cut off all oxygen supply. They tried to revive him for what seemed like forever to my Husband as he sat in a lonely corner trying to make sense of it all and while I lay on the OR table unaware that my entire world had shattered. It was too late. We spent 16 hours with Clutch's little lifeless body. I did my best to take every mental note I could of his sweet face. Chubby cheeks, a dimpled chin, rust colored hair, Daddy's hairline, all engraved into my memory because for now, that is all I have. I had until that moment underestimated the intense amount of love I could have for someone I had only just met. I could feel his spirit so strongly in the silent room we held him in. He was content and at peace for he knew this was all part of the plan. I left the Hospital a few days later with empty, aching arms where my baby belonged. Driving away from that Hospital with an empty car seat and a grief-stricken heart no one could heal was the hardest experience of my life.
A few months had passed since Clutch had died and I prayed with absolute anguish to know my purpose. What was I supposed to do now? Every second of the day was meant to be filled with kisses, baths, books, and cuddles. That, however, was not the situation God had given me. I looked for every ounce of positive I could find in my new life, and honestly, most days that was a task in itself. I missed my baby badly. One particular day, adoption came to my mind and it weighed heavily on my soul. We struggled with fertility and I knew this was part of our plan. I longed to be a Mom and I knew in my heart that there was someone out there who needed us just as much as we needed them. Only months after our approval came back and our profile was uploaded we met with a beautiful girl, who I honestly felt like I had known my entire life, maybe longer. We just 'clicked'. She was due with a baby Girl in June. Our relationship progressed naturally and we went to ultrasounds and Doctor visits. I knew in my heart this little Girl was meant to be in our home, and that God had brought all of us together to give her more love than anyone could hope for a child to have. On June 11, 2013 in the same Hospital room that had brought us heartbreak 1 year earlier, a beautiful baby Girl was born. Dark hair, chubby cheeks, long fingers. Just beautiful. I will never forget the sound of her first cry. It spoke to my soul. I knew her Brother was so close. I could almost feel his arms around us as we stood in that room- this time with tears of joy, and held this baby in our arms. God was aware of us and he had heard every plea, I have never been so sure in my life. We left the hospital, our sweet little Saylor was nestled into her carseat. It was a bittersweet drive home; on one hand, we felt joy like no other taking Saylor home. My heart felt like it could explode with gratitude. There really are no words to explain how I felt besides joy and gratitude and that doesn't even fully convey how I felt. On the other hand, knowing that our joy came at the expense of someone we loved- hurt. It really hurt. To think that someone was able to make such a sacrifice for me, for my family, was unbelieveable. We are just eternally grateful for the courage, strength, and love it took this beautiful woman to make such a decision. Every day I look at pictures of Clutch or gaze into the chestnut-Brown eyes of Saylor, I am reminded of the definite plan there is for each and every one of us!
For any of you who think that God isn't aware of your needs or you aren't sure what your purpose may be. Just hang on. He is so aware of us and he hears our every heartfelt plea. Each stormy day makes us appreciate the rainbow to follow. I ache for my son who would nearly be two every. single. day. I do know without a doubt that I will see him again and that I am still his Mother. He is a part of our family for eternity. I am so blessed. A million times over I am blessed. Life is beautiful!
A few months had passed since Clutch had died and I prayed with absolute anguish to know my purpose. What was I supposed to do now? Every second of the day was meant to be filled with kisses, baths, books, and cuddles. That, however, was not the situation God had given me. I looked for every ounce of positive I could find in my new life, and honestly, most days that was a task in itself. I missed my baby badly. One particular day, adoption came to my mind and it weighed heavily on my soul. We struggled with fertility and I knew this was part of our plan. I longed to be a Mom and I knew in my heart that there was someone out there who needed us just as much as we needed them. Only months after our approval came back and our profile was uploaded we met with a beautiful girl, who I honestly felt like I had known my entire life, maybe longer. We just 'clicked'. She was due with a baby Girl in June. Our relationship progressed naturally and we went to ultrasounds and Doctor visits. I knew in my heart this little Girl was meant to be in our home, and that God had brought all of us together to give her more love than anyone could hope for a child to have. On June 11, 2013 in the same Hospital room that had brought us heartbreak 1 year earlier, a beautiful baby Girl was born. Dark hair, chubby cheeks, long fingers. Just beautiful. I will never forget the sound of her first cry. It spoke to my soul. I knew her Brother was so close. I could almost feel his arms around us as we stood in that room- this time with tears of joy, and held this baby in our arms. God was aware of us and he had heard every plea, I have never been so sure in my life. We left the hospital, our sweet little Saylor was nestled into her carseat. It was a bittersweet drive home; on one hand, we felt joy like no other taking Saylor home. My heart felt like it could explode with gratitude. There really are no words to explain how I felt besides joy and gratitude and that doesn't even fully convey how I felt. On the other hand, knowing that our joy came at the expense of someone we loved- hurt. It really hurt. To think that someone was able to make such a sacrifice for me, for my family, was unbelieveable. We are just eternally grateful for the courage, strength, and love it took this beautiful woman to make such a decision. Every day I look at pictures of Clutch or gaze into the chestnut-Brown eyes of Saylor, I am reminded of the definite plan there is for each and every one of us!
For any of you who think that God isn't aware of your needs or you aren't sure what your purpose may be. Just hang on. He is so aware of us and he hears our every heartfelt plea. Each stormy day makes us appreciate the rainbow to follow. I ache for my son who would nearly be two every. single. day. I do know without a doubt that I will see him again and that I am still his Mother. He is a part of our family for eternity. I am so blessed. A million times over I am blessed. Life is beautiful!
I am so grateful Kylee was so willing to share her story. Telling these kinds of stories is hard but it is also good for the soul. Kylee is such a wonderful mama and she is beautiful inside and out! Here are some beautiful photos of the Low family…Chaisson, Kylee, Clutch, and Saylor:)
