Messer Family Photo Session:)

I love my family! 

Brett, Hillary, Raife and Taevin:)

fun photo shoot, glad we finally made it happen!

This makes me sad we are leaving.

my new nephew:)

Taevin Russell Messer

The newest member of our family.

All I know is I am so grateful for adoption.

It is so true that God has a plan for each and every one of us and I 

know that adoption was supposed to be a part of Hill and Bretts plan.

Without it I wouldn't have the two most beautiful nephews ever!

Such a good big brother!

We love you baby Taevin!

-bb

vulnerable.

It's nice to not feel like you aren't all alone.... so for those of you that hate

when the sun goes down and it's time to close your eyes I hate it too.

For some odd reason I get really emotional at night and start thinking about

everything I messed up on that day. Whether it was I said something mean about

someone or I snapped at my most wonderful hubby for no apparent reason, it

really comes down on me at night. 

I often wish I were better. Nicer. Happier. Someone that makes me people

feel good about themselves. I want to help lift people up not bring them down.

How do you change the worst things about yourself? How do you prepare yourself

to teach a little one how to be wonderful. I hope more than anything that I can

teach my kids not to make the same mistakes I did and still do.

I want to teach my kids how to make the world a brighter place and teach 

them how to smile, a lot!

It's a scary thing though when you are still learning yourself.

No I'm not prego but obviously I think about that.

I wonder if I will be a good mama, a loving mama.

My biggest goal when it comes to my future kiddos is to make sure they

know that I love them and that I love their daddy.

I hope they look back on their life and one day say...wow my mama loves me.

and she is absolutely crazy about my dad.

 

I saw this saying and it made me smile.

If I can wake up everyday with that mind set I bet each day I will

be able to find something wonderful and something that will make me happy.

It's hard to remember to be positive though. It's hard to remember the things you are

trying to make better about yourself. Sometimes I get into the groove and forget

to make someone feel good. I forget to smile and I get mad at my husband.

But I guess that's what life is right? It's about falling down and picking yourself

back up. Life is full of choices, choices that will define who you are.

Will I make the right ones? I sure hope so.

 

But at least this statement is true.

If I go to sleep at night and realize there is something I want to change,

I can. I can change and be anything I want.

I am the only one that can choose my fate.

I control my happiness.

I can choose to be a downer or I can choose to be happy.

Today I am choosing to be happy, more loving and more risky.

yep risky! I will make my life story a good one.

Will you?

-bb

late night ramblings.

Ever feel like you have nothing to say...well nothing profound or deep or worth listening to? ya that's been me for the last month. I'm thinkin it's because I've been stuck in a slump, a Christmas vacation, sleep in till 11 everyday, won't get my fat butt off the couch to work out, completely and utterly addicted to mountain dew again slump. The funny thing is the whole time I was being lazy I heard my fathers voice in my head...
Let me tell you a little story so you understand the previous comment..
The week of finals my dad told me about how when he was in school, after he finished finals he would just veg out on the couch for like 2 days watching movies and eating crap. Basically just letting his brain melt away in hopes that he would feel better after the pain he had felt through out the semester. Soooo...as I set in my lazy state (and by lazy state I mean pj wearin, greasy hair due to the lack of showers and mountain dew coated mouth) ew. I think I threw up a little just thinking about it. Okay back to my thought...As I sat there nastily I would think about how it was all okay because my FATHER approved of my behavior because he once did it. ah...fatherly approval. Don't tell him that mine lasted a bit longer than two days though.

Well now that school has started I feel a little better, I shower, I workout (me and my 3 year old nephew do zumba, so cute) and I still drink mountain dew. a lot. Trying to work on that. But I figure I need to drink all I can seeing as I won't be getting that same sweet liquid sent down from the Gods over in China. there I go with my justifications! man I gotta stop that.
But ya China, it's coming. FAST. we leave Feb. 9th! I can't even believe it. Today it started to hit me and even though I am so excited to go I got kind of sad to leave my friends and family. But I think my sadness might be more because I finished watching Ugly Betty on netflix today though. My emotions are everywhere right now I can't keep them straight. But ya I watched that show and yes it was ridiculous but I loved it! Judge me. I also watch the Bachelor. Judge me even more. I judge myself. uh.

Well ya'll it's been real. I miss rambling to no one. (I have a feeling no one reads my blog) It's all good though. I look at this more of a corner in the universe for me to rant about recent findings and mountain dew breath. My hubby gets sick of me talking to him about it all (I always want to talk when he wants to sleep, that's what 1 am will do to ya) so this is a place for me to talk on and on and on and for no one to tell me I'm stupid. To my face atleast. Goodnight!
-bb

I suck at blogging. Catch up post!

Here is the end of 2011 and the beginning of a new year:)

BYU game with the in-laws.

We had a blast and we even snuck down to the third row!

We were on the jumbotron 3 times!

My sister was actually at the same game and found out we were there cause she saw Chance 

on the big screen rippin his coat of to show his BYU shirt underneath! haha hilarious!

And I got to see my cousin Cody:) 

The on thanksgiving weekend we went tree hunting and got into the Christmas

spirit oh and we also became obsessed with hot chocolate with candy canes:)

Then we had the best work party ever! (oh and I'm his only employee) haha

It was so fun, the Hugh fam and Chance and I went to dinner at La Fiesta mmm!

Then we went out to the roller rink! ya that's right, we skated are a's off:)

oh and we skated some more up north with Chance's fam! We did on Christmas Eve and on

Ian's Birthday. Sad news by the way, I didn't take ONE picture of our first Christmas:(

It was beautiful though! Different because it was with Chance's fam, but it was a blast!

Here's the New Years group!

We took things up a notch, got all classed up and went to NINJA for dinner.

Then we played cards, lit fireworks, made out and played more cards:)

ya I said made out, it's new years peeps.

Success.

We finished off the year with a bang!

Happy 2012 everyone:)

General Grievous (Raife)

My nephew is obsessed with Star Wars. So much that my brother is concerned and thinks he lives in a fantasy world haha um he is 3, of course he lives in a fantasy world. But he seriously thinks everything from Star Wars is real. It is the cutest thing ever! 

One day when Chance came home from work (btw we are leaving in my sisters basement till we live for China so Raife's home is our home) anyways, Chance walked in and Raife looked at him and said "Chance I'm so sorry your planet got destroyed" haha! What a knee slapper. 

Kids say the darndest things.

In this picture Raife say's he is dressed up as General Grievous:)

Now onto the big news!!!

Taevin Russell Messer

My new nephew (whom I haven't even met by the way!)

My sister and bro in-law are up in Salt Lake adopting this little cutie!

They come home tomorrow and I can't wait to hold him!

He is so tiny, when he was born he weighed 4 lbs 11 oz and was 16 1/2 inches long.

After a few complications all is well and they will be home tomorrow!

Congrats Brett, Hill, Raife, Liberty and Roxy!

They have a full house now! Especially with us in the basement.

sorry it's been so long, I'll do better.

oh and just so you know, one month till CHINA!! yea!

-bb